Betty killed my social life

On Sunday the Brentwood Contact the Elderly Tea Party was held at Basildon Fire Station...

I have not written anything about my dating exploits yet, but I think it might be time to talk about some of the weird and wonderful people I have met in the last two years. There has been a bit of a pattern of 2-4 month stories interspersed with a few weeks of the single life and some nonsensing. The latest beau is nearing the 4 month record now. Only two more weeks to break it and it's looking very promising.

He excelled himself yesterday. Not only is he the first person to ever give me fireworks, he produced one of the most fun cathartic experiences with them.

You were 'the one' I so did adore

but I don't love you anymore,

Now I see through your veneer

not one more minute, one more tear,

will you take from me again,

Your ego fed, inflicting pain

Only hard when you're cheating

deception, you said 'clandestine' meeting,

You need the blue pills day to day

to achieve a mediocre lay,

2 mins, personal best, you're done,

Good job you had a skillful tongue

In your head you blame me,

to your friends you shame me,

No love, no respect, no feelings,

Only selfish dirty dealings,

Love letters, poems, a mirror image note,

Proposals, promises, I could quote

Lies, lies, lies,

Cold hearted empty eyes,

A chameleon to fit a role,

A beautiful hollow shell with no soul,

Ripped our hearts out, smashed them up,

Just another trophy cup

Now my spirit's free to roam,

The girl I once was is coming home,

I'm stronger than before you sapped me,

I can be anything I want to be,

So farewell to the character you let me meet,

Nothing more than floppy cock P...